Timothy L. Hopkins

I refreshed my Tim Did It site a bit. Go have a looksie....

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 14:09:03 -0400

I refreshed my Tim Did It site a bit. Go have a looksie. It’s a work in progress but I’m fond of it… for now.

"OH SHIITTTT!!!! Thanks for buying my new comedy special!!! THAT $5 IS MINE SON. Just kidding, but..."

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 17:30:20 -0400

“OH SHIITTTT!!!! Thanks for buying my new comedy special!!! THAT $5 IS MINE SON. Just kidding, but seriously it is.”

- Aziz Ansari “Dangerously Delicious” confirmation email

From These Pages -- March 31

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 21:36:54 -0500

On March 31, I will be joining a talented lineup of poetry, prose and song writers on the Union Street Theatre stage in downtown Danville, Virginia, for the third installment of From These Pages, an event created by my friend, Stuart Smith. Tickets are $5.

Other confirmed performers (as of today) include:

Southside-based acoustic duo The Untold Stories
Comedian and Washington Post humorist Alex Petri
Pushcart Prize-nominated poet Jason Mott

Stu is a stand-up fellow, and an excellent storyteller, to boot. He’s performed on the As Was Written stage a few times, dating back to the show’s inception (not that inception) three years ago, so it’s great to see his show grow into the wonder that it is.

This will be my first venture into Downtown Danville. My only hopes for the area are that it has bars filled with craft beers, decent music (hip-hop, rock or something not-country will do) and at least one corner where I can fade off into the shadows for a cigar once the show’s figurative smoke has cleared. Bonus if the weather by the end of March is spring-tastic.

If you just so happen to live within driving distance of the area, please make the trip. Reach out to me in advance and we can see about splitting a Howard Johnson double bed or something. I wonder if AirBnb places are available around there, considering it isn’t a metropolitan area? Hmm… *Googlin* (first glance says no)

For your convenience, tickets are available online. If you’re interested in going to the show, but need to find someone to road trip with, send me an email and I’ll be glad to assist. Danville, Virginia, is a lovely town, filled with some of the friendliest folks I’ve ever met. Combine that with the show’s great line-up, and it’ll be well worth the trip.

On a side note: Happy Leap Day.

Bell’s Hopslam Ale, in all its tasty, expensive beauty.

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 15:47:40 -0500

Bell’s Hopslam Ale, in all its tasty, expensive beauty.

"America is back. Anyone who tells you otherwise, anyone who tells you that America is in decline or..."

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 08:50:19 -0500

“America is back. Anyone who tells you otherwise, anyone who tells you that America is in decline or that our influence has waned, doesn’t know what [the F**K] they’re talking about!”

- President Barack Obama, during his 2012 State of the Union Address

How To Avoid Meeting Timesuck

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 16:46:00 -0500

Working in an office for several years, I’ve grown to despise meetings. Specifically, ineffective ramble-a-thons that are, ultimately, timesucks. They have so much potential to be collaborative and productive, but too often they fall short and contribute to wasted hours and deflated motivation.

I bring this up because of a great article on Inc.com, “A Bad Meeting is Like a Bad Marriage - You Feel Trapped,” that mentioned some great points about how to make meetings less crappy. They are:

State the objectives for the meeting, which generally are one of the following:
- Gain agreement, permission or approval
- Obtain feedback, opinions or access to necessary data
- Answer questions
Share any progress you’ve made so far to accomplish the objectives (preferably before the meeting via email, so only new items will need to be covered in-person)
Ask attendees for the thing(s) you need from them to push the work forward
Capture next steps and action items from the meeting

Sidenote:
Lunch meetings are my sworn enemy. The lunch hour is meant to be spent away from the desk, unwinding so that when you return to work, you have fresh eyes and energy to close out the day.

These things seems simple enough, but workplaces have different philosophies for meetings. If you’d like to go the route of bashing meetings altogether, I encourage you to read Rework, by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson. Aside from being a fantastic short read, it goes to town a lot worse than I do on meetings.

My point is that you can and should stop having unnecessary meetings (Easier said than done, I know!). And if you do get the chance to run your own meeting, conduct it using the aforementioned points. Keep control of the show, even if someone tries to divert away from the meeting mission. It’ll make your workday much more pleasant, and just think of all the wonderful things you can produce when you don’t have to worry about the normal timesuck factor!

Warning: Objects in lobby not as edible as they appear.

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 14:45:02 -0500

Warning: Objects in lobby not as edible as they appear.

"I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the..."

Thu, 01 Dec 2011 22:18:31 -0500

“I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can’t see from the center.”

- Kurt Vonnegut (Player Piano)

"Because I didn’t know it couldn’t be done, I was enabled to do it."

Sun, 20 Nov 2011 19:44:56 -0500

“Because I didn’t know it couldn’t be done, I was enabled to do it.””

- Bill Atkinson, discussing “the empowering aspect of naïveté” in the Steve Jobs biography, by Walter Isaacson

A Letter to Future Presidential Nominees

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:20:00 -0500

The following letter was found in the archives of Mt. Eagle Elementary School, referencing the great election of 1994, where young Timothy Luke Hopkins of Mrs. Signet’s class took on Danilo Hernandez of Ms. Harris’s class, in what was arguably the closest sixth grade presidential race of all-time. Some of the tips in the letter seemed relevant to today’s current political climate, so it seemed appropriate to share. My apologies for any and all outdated reference and swear words.

Photo:
Ken Roberts Photography

Dear future presidential candidates,

It is from my extended experience studying presidential campaigns – I was, most recently, favored as the future 6th grade class president of Mount Eagle Elementary School, after all – that I beg you to reconsider your presidential run.

Or, if you can’t be convinced to reconsider, at the very least, allow me to give you advice on how to run a more effective campaign, based on my experience.

My first piece of advice – know not only why you want to win, but also how you plan on winning. I wanted to win so I could be more like President Bill Clinton, our 43rd president of the United States. His defeat of the incumbent president, George Herbert Walker Bush, in 1992 was inspirational to me. In every speech, interview and even his general demeanor, Clinton was the coolest guy in the room. One of the perks of becoming president is that it automagically makes you the coolest person in the room. It’s just science. My strategy on how I would win lacked – how do you say? – existence. The only television I watched until recently was the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the Cosby Show and whatever shows turned up on the TGIF lineup each Friday night. They didn’t teach much about politics but they did seem to weave in moral plots every show.

But to win, you need an actual platform. Mine was inspired from Clinton’s famous line, “It’s the economy, stupid.” My slogan: “It’s the extended recess, stupid.” I must admit, that slogan didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped it would, but it had promise. I mean, come on, kids love recess and want more. Anyway, you can’t just yell out that you’re winning and expect that to gain you popularity. That will never happen, ever.

My second piece of advice is to surround yourself with a campaign team that is in it to win it. I have a big family, so, naturally, I reached out to my big sisters, Tara and Sara, for help with everything from buttons, posters and arts and crafts products to my final speech. They were there for me through the end, with unwavering support. I secretly think that they felt bad for me being the youngest and shortest kid in the sixth grade glass. My opponent, Danilo, was one of the oldest and tallest in the class, and gained popularity for his ability to slam a basketball on the six-foot rims. We’re in sixth grade, that can’t be natural. I needed a springboard to do that. At any rate, make sure you pick a team that has your back, no matter what their cause may be.

My third piece of advice is to guilt your friends early and often into supporting your run. My friends were divided between the two classes – half in Mrs. Signet’s with me, the other half in Ms. Harris’s with Danilo. I failed to secure the early support based on a silly rule that your campaign manager could only be chosen from within your own class (Can you believe that’s an actual rule?). My first choice was Aaron Johnson, my best friend. He was excited to get to use the campaign manager title to get extra attention from girls. With the rule banning him from running my campaign, naturally, he ran my opponent’s campaign. He could have helped secure my victory early on, what with his ability to dance like Michael Jackson and singing ability – we would’ve had the girl vote in both classes on lock! But I failed to tap into whatever it took to make sure he was on the team, so that was a mistake on my part, I guess. You need support, especially early on, and it’s never too soon to phone a friend and guilt them to no end why they must support you.

My third piece of advice is to grow thick skin. I mean that literally, in part. You will be a target – expect dodge balls, basketballs, footballs and large beach balls during crabwalk soccer to fly at you at higher-than-usual speeds during recess and gym class. Do not wince, blink or cry. Do not let them see you as weak. Also, there will be extra juicy rumors about you flowing through the hallways every single day. Ignore them, no matter what. Do not let them phase you.

My fourth piece of advice is to know your audience and speak their language. I have two examples of how my opponent, Danilo, dominated me on this front. His campaign slogans were catchy, sure, but they were also bilingual. That gave him an advantage in my school where there was a large Spanish-speaking population. He knew the language and I didn’t. For example, one of his campaign slogans was, “Danilo Para Tranquilo!” That means, “Danilo For Peace!” He stuck me in a corner with that one in two ways: first, it was in two languages; second – was I anti-peace? No. But his pro-peace stance made my rebuttal to the ad impossible.

My second example of speaking your audience’s language is in the speech to end all presidential speeches. My own speech was pretty unmemorable. I had beads of sweat rolling down my head the whole time – I’m shy, so that comes with the territory when standing in front of a gym full of people. But Danilo’s speech is the one that stood out the most. As far as politics go, it was the best, shortest political speech in history.

He walked up, said he was proud to be running and that if he were elected, he would make sure to take care of the needs of each and every student.

And, if they voted for him, he promised to never to let anyone down.

That’s it. Well, not exactly. The final part of his speech utilized his strength in languages over me. He ended by saying, “Vote for Danilo!” in both English and Spanish. It caused a stir in the crowd immediately. And, to top it off, he led the crowd in a soccer chant. “Ole! Ole! Ole! Oleeeee! Oleeee! Oleeee!” The crowd echoed and launched upright, from their crouched, Indian-style seated positions and repeated each chant like puppets, on cue, in unison – not once, not twice, but three times. I can’t watch soccer games anymore because of this.

So, to top things off, he thanked the crowd – again, in English and Spanish – and walked off the stage with the biggest smile in the world. I slouched in my chair and my heart sank down to my stomach. It was the final, huge blow to the Hopkins for President Camp. So, again, figure out your audience and speak all of their languages, not just your own.

My fifth piece of advice is to be gracious in both victory and defeat. I know there are rumors floating around as to how I reacted when I heard the results, but I’d like to clarify my side of the story.

As the vote tally came to an end, I was called in to the computer lab. My feet resisted every step along the way. I admit, I felt like a man defeated before he knew the results. I arrived to Danilo waiting in a chair by one of the computers. His face was just as pale as my own. Ms. Harris came into the room and quietly shut the door behind her. She pulled a chair next to us and, after a few moments of darting her eyes back and forth between the two of us with one of those soothing yet annoying smiles, she spoke, in a soft, gentle tone, “The results are in, boys, and it was a real close one. One vote determined the winner.” She glanced down at the card in front of her as if she didn’t already know the answer, and said it slowly, “The new sixth grade class president will be… Danilo.”

Now, there are rumors that say that I broke in to tears. Those are false. You see, what happened was that I had bad allergies that day and I’d accidently poked myself in the eye with an eraser earlier in the day, so that may’ve appeared like sad tears to the uninformed. That was very unfortunate. I do admit, though, that it wasn’t the news I wanted to hear. Danilo broke out his big smile, just before he saw my completely reasonable and justified waterworks. “I’m sorry, man,” he said. “You did good, too.” He was so genuine in the way he said it, I couldn’t stay mad at him. He was so calm, cool and collected – he was much more mature than me, and ready to be president. If every winner and loser in all races could act as dignified and respectful as Danilo did that day, our world would be a better place. Please, keep that in mind.

My last piece of advice – well, it isn’t really advice, but more like a favor – is that I’d like for you to ask the powers that be at Mt. Eagle Elementary School to make the election results of 1994 open to the public. As indebted to Ms. Harris as I am for her balanced delivery of the “results,” I want to be sure the count was correct, for verification purposes. Maybe there was only a single vote that separated our race, I don’t know. But I’d like to be sure.

So, in conclusion, I humbly ask that you take this expert advice – and my favor – to heart before considering your run. The balance of recess time, efficient lunch lines and ice cream sandwich prices hang in the balance. Do not take the decision to run for president lightly – it may – no, will – haunt you for the rest of your life.

Sincerely,

Timothy Luke Hopkins
Mt. Eagle Elementary School Class of ‘94

This was read at As Was Written on November 4, 2011

Brooklyn Beta 2011

Tue, 15 Nov 2011 18:49:00 -0500

Photo by Jon Tan

Last month, I had the distinct privilege of attending Brooklyn Beta, a “small, friendly web conference aimed at the ‘work hard and be nice to people’ crowd.” During the three-day emotional rollercoaster (Honestly, it consisted mainly of the “Hands up and say Weeeee!” part), I have concluded that – my apologies for flipping to Kanye mode on you – it was the most inspirational and fun conference of all-time.

Hear me out.

Every conference has its core purpose – to teach, to discuss best practices, to inspire, to network, etc. Brooklyn Beta made it very clear from the onset that its purpose was to pair talented folks up with problems that need solving:

“We hope to not only inspire you to work on your own ideas, but we also want to highlight problems that matter. Problems like education, charity, and finance. Our speakers will inspire you and help you understand how your skills can help.”

Brooklyn Beta succeeded on all counts. They filled the room with talented folks (check the attendee list), lined up a fantastic group of inspirational speakers from all over – Apple, Awesome Foundation, Department of Health and Human Services Department, charity:water – and, judging by the glowing responses I heard personally from attendees, to those written up on the interwebs post-conference, that inspiration was infectious (Jessica Hische even created a sweet-looking site, 52x52.org, encouraging folks to pledge $52 for 52 weeks, all benefit great causes) and has carried on into a month later.

Photo by placenamehere

The conference was broken into three days. The first day, Wednesday Whatnot, broke attendees into separate, small groups to discuss ideas and gather feedback for projects, work styles and spaces (stand-up desks are all the rage right now), among other things. Wednesday Whatnot was inspired by Greenville Grok. According to both the Brooklyn Beta founders, Cameron Koczon and Chris Shiflett, and the Greenville folk, part of the encouragement was to generate these types of gatherings in every city possible. Matthew Smith even went so far as to say that you needn’t go to Brooklyn Beta 2012, but instead opt for your own version in your own home town. I don’t know about missing out on the next Brooklyn Beta conference (I plan on being there — for sure), but making that kind of day spread like Fight Club isn’t a bad idea at all. Everyone: get your Tyler Durden on, folks.

Thursday and Friday were more traditional conferences, with a great lineup of speakers I’ve never heard before on stage — Viktoria Harrison (charity:water), Cameron (Brooklyn Beta cofounder, Fictive Kin, GimmeBar), Tony Fadell (he who helped created Apple’s iPod), Todd Park (Dep’t of HHS CTO), Tim Hwang (Awesome Foundation and others). They spoke of different areas of do-good, but kept with the theme of using your talents – be it content strategy (listed first on purpose, fist-bump to Kristina Halvorson), design, development, project management, or whatever — to better the world for the greater good.

At one point, Mr. Park got down on his knees and pleaded with the audience for help on using their talents to design products and services that can save lives. No pressure.

Sidenote:
I love Brooklyn Brewery beers. I own much of their swag — my way of professing my love. Unfortunately, I was unable to do a brewery tour, due to the awesomeness of the week. Next time…

Each day had a very relaxed feel, which combined with a fantastic group of attendees, locally delivered food and drink (Bark Hot Dogs, SixPoint Craft Ales and Brooklyn Brewery, to name a few), made for a special, incredible week.

Before I go to other shout-outs, I must start with my eternal gratefulness to the wonderful Brooklyn Beta cofounders, Cameron and Chris, for weaving together such a fantastic event. They rounded up sponsors to help with costs and, especially, supply beer; lined up speakers doing awesome things (some very literally) to provide inspiration; opened up the event to some of the best and brightest “movers and shakers” in the field (I am not including myself in this list at all, unless we are talking about dancing); and, of course, performing all the other conference-y magic that goes on behind the scenes that we don’t see but appreciate nonetheless. All this amounted to an open, loose, fun, informative and, above all else for me personally, incredibly inspirational “conference.” You, sirs, are true gentlemen and scholars, and it was a pleasure to take part in such an amazing week.

Other notable highlights of the week included:

Staying the week with a very kind stranger (Thank you, AirBnb) and not being violated (Yay!).
Free web nerdery books!!
Watching the movie premiere of Girl Walk // All Day and the post-movie dance-off.
Chatting with Simon Collison briefly about responsive and adaptive design – specifically how designers need to continue to take the extra time to design for a web that is forever changing.
Discussing conference organization goodness, Brooklyn wonderfulness and, most importantly, vowing to help put together a cigar night at Brooklyn Beta 2012, with Cameron and Chris.
Finding out that there is an Awesome Foundation DC Chapter – I would absolutely put up the money to be on their committee!
The beautifully designed Brooklyn Beta swag sporting the awesome tagline: “MAKE something you LOVE”.
Watching the fellow from Twilio break up the general talks with a pure “code and awe” session showing the wizardry found in the app, moments after David Desandro and I discussed how great that would be.
Chatting up Brooklyn Alpha conference founders, Tom and Tyler, about creating web apps in three days, the importance of emailing me in a timely manner and black pale ales (Speakeasy is the sh*t).
Going hundreds of miles out of town to hang out with my fellow DC-area residents, Dave Desandro and Andrew Cohen (Soon-to-be Colorado resident)
Chatting with Jenni Scwartz about Brooklyn’s crazy wonderful good vibes.
Watching the crazy cool Brooklyn Beta timelapse thrown together by Beep Show.
THE BEARD TAKEOVER (I’m in there somewhere)
Taking a walking tour of Brooklyn with a local, from Park Slope up to the new area on Atlantic Avenue where the Nets stadium will be, to Brooklyn Heights, where I saw a fantastic view of the Brooklyn Bridge, Freedom Towers and Manhattan.
Visiting a cool little spot on the Lower East Side with my talented homie, Jenna, for a shindig (not to be confused with a brouhaha), where web nerdery, old days, good times and drinks (a common theme of the week) were discussed.
Meeting some very cool folks who made the week extra special: Justin Childress, my “official conference bro,”, with whom I discussed design, coffee beans, going to bed early and how he’s two sets of triplets away from a solid baseball lineup; Lachlan Hardy, an all-around great dude, and Good Samaritan, who let me drop my heavy arse bag in his hotel room before commencing a long, crazy night of bar-hopping; Dan, Ben, Dave, Eugene, Adam, Greg, Steven, Brandon and several others I am forgetting at the moment – I just want to say that you all freakin rock.
*Insert random other stories I’m forgetting or that inside joke we had — you know the one — here*

Since that week, I’ve already begun some cool projects at my full-time, and am in the process of ironing out my portfolio to share more of the work I’ve done in copywriting and design on the interwebs, so I can team up with others to help further the do-gooders’ movement. All this, largely inspired by a single, awesome week in New York at Brooklyn Beta. Thanks, guys.

Other Brooklyn Beta stuff:

Chris Shiflett’s Brooklyn Beta Collection on GimmeBar and wonderful conference opening, including my favorite saying of the week: “Haters gonna hate!”
“What I Loved About Brooklyn Beta” by Daniel Mall
“Brooklyn Beta 2011” by Trent Walton
“Brooklyn Beta” by Phil Coffman (Note: He’s removed the original post, but its original design was sexy and preserved thanks to Chris’s aforementioned collection)
“Under Pressure” by Dan Leatherman
“Brooklyn Beta” by Noah Stokes
My obligatory “See, boss, I was there!”
The Flickr collection of Brooklyn Beta photos

Another Successful Show In The Books

Thu, 10 Nov 2011 00:20:36 -0500

Once again, I am extremely humbled and honored to have taken part in yet another As Was Written live show. We sold out both the big show on Friday night, as well as the Thursday night “Stacy Clark: The Songs and The Stories” smaller event, thanks to our wonderful supporters, both new and old.

Each time John-Mark and I sit down to go over what we want for the next show, we put a lot of time and effort into picking a talented lineup, choosing a date that doesn’t get in the way of major holidays, and spreading the word earlier than each time before so more people can take part in the event. And each time, at each of our shows at The Lyceum, we’ve been overwhelmed by the support shown toward the show and what we’ve put together.

Thank you to our other performers: Alex Petri, Stacy Clark, Maddox, Shelly Bell and Remy. You can find more information about them on our website.

Thank you to The Lyceum, for allowing us to have our fourth show in their wonderful, historic building — did I mention former president John Quincy Adams used to speak on that same stage? — and going out of their way to be accomodating to us ever step of the way.

Thanks to King Street Blues for sponsoring the after party, and my buddy Ian for holding it down on the bar.

Thanks to our dessert artist Mike Davis, and Mrs. Davidson for their autumn-themed food and drink.

We recorded a few podcasts before the show, including our latest with Maddox, so head over to our media page for those, as well as videos and photos.

Thanks again to one and all — you make this event we love to put together all worth it.

MC Hammer v. Google

Fri, 21 Oct 2011 15:34:57 -0400

Bless MC Hammer’s little bankrupt heart: he’s aiming for the crown of King of Internet Search.

I kid, but I always wish new start-ups as many successes as they can fit in their metaphorical hammerpants. But if Microsoft’s Bing can only put a tiny dent in the Google-controlled search engine market share hold, Mr. Hammer has no shot.

The Brooklyn Beta crew stepped the muthalovin badge game up to a...

Sat, 15 Oct 2011 19:33:00 -0400

The Brooklyn Beta crew stepped the muthalovin badge game up to a whole new level.

Trees were harmed to provide name display sexiness.

"The human race is a species that can fly, because through our own brainpower, we’ve managed to..."

Fri, 07 Oct 2011 11:12:56 -0400

“The human race is a species that can fly, because through our own brainpower, we’ve managed to create machines that bring us through the air.”

- Graham Linehan, creator of The IT Crowd, in an interview with .net Magazine

Craigslist Ain't Just For Creepers

Wed, 28 Sep 2011 09:20:00 -0400

Whenever I tell people that I’m searching for a new roommate using Craigslist, they all seem to cringe (or, if online, they use the weird disappointed/half-frowney-face :/ emoticon) and ask, “Aren’t you afraid of the Craigslist killer?”

As if the definition of “killer” didn’t register in my brain, they paint a more vivid picture: “What if they move in and chop you up into little pieces while you sleep? What then?”

“I guess they’d have a hard time getting their security deposit back,” I say. Or, “I’m not too worried. The place ain’t cheap – I doubt they could cover both halves of the rent.”

There are creepers out there on Craigslist, for sure. But from my own experience and that of many of the people I talk to, they’re the exception, not the rule.

In my six years of using the site, I’ve been fortunate enough to find one like-new ping pong table for free, dozens of beer and wine glasses for cheap; several reliable buyers for random items I wanted to unload and, notably, three fantastic, trustworthy, non-murderous roommates.

I don’t blame people for having those lingering fears. Worst case scenarios are the only ones the news seems to give attention; it’s not like my finding a ping pong table for free is going to make the nighttime local news, in spite of how great the deal was, and how I managed to not get kidnapped and violated in the process. Success stories are great to hear, in theory, but they don’t tune viewers in as much as scary stories.

Another part of the blame goes to Craigslist’s plain and slightly sketchy design. I mean, with as many visitors they manage to land on their site, you’d think they could spring for a designer to make their site a little more aesthetically pleasing. Hell, they could post an ad on Craigslist to redesign Craigslist. They’d get several suitable suitors. I know it from experience. They know it from site statistics.

I’m currently undergoing the process of replacing an outgoing roommate. We’ve lived together for two years and were friends for several years before that. That was the ideal roommate situation — finding a friend whom you know and trust to be respectful, clean and relatively non-psychotic — but having had multiple great situations where I found reliable, trustworthy people on Craigslist, I’m confident in the process Craigslist provides: Several people apply. You interview a fraction of those and choose the best-of-the-best, to the best of your ability and powers of predictive lucky-guessing. Could someone randomly come in and go berserk? Sure. Is it likely? Not really.*

One of the new trends on the web seems to be websites that involve placing trust in strangers for renting rooms (AirBnb), finding dates (OkCupid, Match, Blendr) and meeting strangers to hang out with (MeetUp, FourSquare, Facebook Places). These sites seem to have enormous success, with only a few bad scenarios on record. Even celebrities are getting on the stranger-ain’t-danger web bandwagon. In some cases, safeguards get placed to prevent future terrible scenarios. Or, you do your own planning and bring a friend to your next stranger meetup/exchange for the extra layer of safety. Either way, improvements can be made.

There’s a whole world out there full of good-natured human beings. You could spend your life afraid of every stranger out there, assuming they’re out to pull one over on you, or you can take a chance at landing a great deal, or meeting someone new who you would’ve never encountered before this current internet age, who could be your next best roommate, friend, mate or owner of that widget you always wanted to own without breaking the bank.

Disclaimer: Kids, do not take this advice until you’re a full-blown grown-up. Now that I think about it, by the time you’re grown the internet will have changed and you’ll be able to teleport away from danger with the flick of a wrist or blink of the eye. In fact, wait until that technology emerges before moving forward into the interweb’s wide-open marketplace.

*If my new roommate turns out to be Craigslist Killer #2, I permit all readers of this to show up to my funeral – whenever I turn up from the woods or wherever my bits and pieces are hidden – and say, “I told him this’d happen. Dumb arse.”

Live Readings Return in November

Sun, 25 Sep 2011 14:26:01 -0400

The live reading showcase, As Was Written, is back. And for added enjoyment, we’ve added another night of fun the night before.

The November 4 lineup consists of some old and new faces, including our first New York Times bestseller, Maddox. Check out his website, The Best Page in the Universe, to see an old fashioned site with hilarious content. Shelly Bell, spoken word artist and poet, founder of Seven City Art Society will take the stage for the first time. We’re bringing back the always hilarious Remy, who performed his first spoken word piece at our last show that has amassed almost 50,000 hits on YouTube already. Alex Petri, comedienne and columnist for The Washington Post, is back. And, of course, John-Mark and I will be back doing our thing. Tickets are $15. We have already sold 1/3 of our tickets, so the sooner you get your ticket, the better.

Also for this round, along with our big show, we’re offering a smaller, more intimate show the night before, called “Stacy Clark: The Songs and the Stories,” on November 3. Stacy Clark performed last year during our first and rocked it. This time she’ll lead off with a show in a small venue for 20 fans. Crashboom Omar Ruiz will open. Tickets are $10 for this show, and we are only selling 20. Be part of the limited bunch for this one.

It’ll be a great two days, so don’t miss out. For serious.

Share Your Work With A Live Audience

Thu, 04 Aug 2011 11:45:00 -0400

As Was Written exists to showcase and celebrate the quality writer. The live shows feature writers, musicians and comedians presenting their original work on stage. We are looking to fill two spots in the next show in Old Town Alexandria this Fall. We expect a sold out crowd of 140.

Writers selected for the two remaining spots in the lineup will have approximately 10 minutes on stage to read or recite a piece(s).

Requirements
All work must be original. No experience is necessary. We believe that if you have the talent, you deserve an opportunity. There is no pay, but if you have books or cds you can sell them at our merch table.

How To Apply
To apply, send a sample of your work (MS Word or PDF), or a link to a video of you performing, to submissions@aswaswritten.com. Tell us about yourself in your e-mail.

To learn more about the show, visit www.aswaswritten.com.

Remembering Amy Winehouse

Tue, 26 Jul 2011 20:27:00 -0400

Photo credit:
People Magazine

Amy Winehouse died over the weekend. She was 27 years old.

It is sad, and incredibly unfortunate, for anyone to lose their life at such a young age. Much to the music world’s dismay, she joins the growing list of famous artist to die at 27 — otherwise known as the 27 Club:

Jimi Hendrix
Kurt Cobain
Janis Joplin
Jim Morrison

Amy was a rare breed of artist, able to traverse the Atlantic Ocean into the American market from the U.K. seamlessly, howling melodic lyrics of struggling through addiction, rocky relationships and generally vivid accounts of scabs being unpeeled within every verse in her music.

She won five Grammys for Back to Black: Record of the Year, Best New Artist, Song of the Year, Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, and Best Pop Vocal Album. She earned every bit of her accolades.

Unfortunately, many of those scabs exposed in Amy’s music were very true to life. Like many other fans and friends, while I felt sad for her passing, it was not ultimately surprising. Amy struggled in recent years with drug addiction. While we are still unsure of the exact cause of her death (initial police reports did not reveal that any substances were found near her body), it can be said that leading up to her death, her battle with addiction overpowered attention she gathered for the wonder she brought to music.

Her famous single, “Rehab,” touts her refusal to adhere to the traditional methods of rehabilitating drug addicts and depressed persons. Addiction is a very real disease. If you don’t believe it, sit in on an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I have, and can vouch for the sheer magnitude of shared pain, struggle and mixes of hope and support from others experiencing similar feelings and experiences. That feeling is indescribable. Some people find themselves trapped in a downward path when they’ve centered their life on a single, deadly vice (drugs and/or alcohol, specifically). Fortunately, there are always support groups around to help those who wish to be helped get back on their feet. Unfortunately, it’s not easy for addicts to simply fall in line with the demands asked in the program.

Russell Brand, comedian and star of “Get Him to the Greek” and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall (two movies I thoroughly enjoyed) wrote a very thoughtful, “real talk” post on Amy Winehouse, rehabilitation and “the call.” Definitely take a second to check it out.

To close, these are a few of my personal favorite Amy Winehouse songs:

Gone Barebones With Tumblr

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 19:42:00 -0400

I like minimal sites. I also like “pretty” sites. But, for the sake of getting back into writing, I stripped this website bare, applied a quick paint job, and got right to wordsmithin’.

This very minimal design I’m operating in started with a barebones Tumblr theme The Google found for me. I threw it on a grid, selected a few free fonts and, after a few slight design tweaks within the browser (Google Chrome is the sh*t), voila:

I already have ideas for the next iteration of the design, but those will be made in increments. This basic design is meant to focus on the content of the site — my rants, ramblings, Photoshopped comedy, short stories and such — and do it well.

Sidenote:
I’ve added a miniature sidebar feature to supplement my overabuse of parentheses.

This is where I can let you veer even deeper into my sidebars through an actual sidebar away from the main content of my post.

This works for me… right now. I’ve already seen a few cool additions that I like elsewhere, such as:

Dropdown box at the top and/or bottom for contact information (Ex: Spark Box)
Black/White style click OR an automatic load of a night-time CSS load when it becomes late night (See: Bobulate… and shown in this cool little tutorial)
Responsive Design so the view will adjust depending on what view you’re experiencing the site through (PC, iPhone, Blackberry, iPad, etc.)

So that’s that.

Other than side projects in the creative writing and producing world, I’ve been reading a lot lately.

Offline, I’ve been finishing all the Kurt Vonnegut books I can get my nerdy little hands on. Online, I’ve enjoyed reading posts from Justin Halpern (He of the Sh*t My Dad Says fame), Joshua Allen and Alexandra Petri at the Washington Post, to name a few of the funniest on the web. Every one of my laughs that makes a coworker or roommate stare at me with both discomfort and curiosity earns them an extra star in my book. They’ve all earned several stars as of late.

Note:
You should follow me on Twitter here

That said, I hope you enjoy the posts I share. There won’t be a comments section* to tell me so, but if you’d like to toss one of my posts onto the social webs and talk smack or rain accolades upon me, that’s perfectly acceptable. There are links at the end of each post to help you do that with a simple click. Or, if you feel so inclined, send me an email.

If you’re reading this on my faxlist – this goes out to my devoted fans in the East Wing of the Sunrise Community Center residence, who I tricked into thinking I was selling life insurance – thanks for all of your support. Hold those snickers bars close. If any of you have gripes or praises, write my name on an envelope and place it in the mail with the address:

ATTN: Timothy L. Hopkins
The Interwebs
United States of America

To one and all, old and young, I say take it easy and enjoy the ride, with or without your arms inside the vehicle.

*I’m testing Disqus comments that’ll let you login using FB or Twitter. We’ll see how that goes.